Dancing with Mystery

“Why did I ever try to catch you? Of course every net that I threw in the ocean, every web that I spun like a spider, every box of words I imagined into existence—of course none of them ever had a chance. You danced out of them, laughing joyfully, jesting at me, wondering when I would start laughing, too.

“But you didn’t even have to dance. You did that because it’s so beautiful and heartful to take a form, and sway, and jive, and fall into the rhythm.

“You didn’t have to dance because you couldn’t be caught to begin with. The White Stag merely imitates the elusiveness you embody. Elusive but ever-available—how do you do that, again?

“. . . I saw you shining in the eyes of my lover, peering forth behind batting eyelashes. Playing innocent; playing infatuated.

“I saw you shining in the eyes of the man with schizophrenia, too. He was hurting, he was confused; and yet, you were there underneath the confusion.

“Once I was looking at the pond in the springtime, when the frost was melting in the ground and things were crawling in the soil. The sunshine caressed my skin.  It was quiet inside; peaceful. You were there shining out of my eyes, too. That was when I knew—when I was quiet.

“In all things I feel you without knowing how. Looking too hard, I can’t find you. Making no effort, I am lost. Seeing from silence, seeing from sincerity—the light returns from mere memory. . . .

“A man says to me, ‘Knock and the door will be opened.’

“Then why do I look in all the wrong places?—and spend all my time futilely?

“What is this mess we continue to make, so ignorant and hypocritical?

“What is this love so fierce and forgiving that makes rulers bow and hardened souls melt at its touch?

“And you dance; and you dance my answers away. ‘Come and dance with me!’ you say.

“I wear a mask of seriousness that you peel from my face. You wear no mask; you playfully dance!—but do not say who you are.

“I see in your face the sun and the moon; the tides and the grasses growing. I see in your face the Radiance dawning, eternally, on everything, everywhere.

“Dancing, not knowing—that’s how you have been dancing.

“So I dance; and I dance my answers away.”

2 thoughts on “Dancing with Mystery

  1. This was lovely and meaningful to me. Many of us have had illusive relationships which slip through our lives. This touched me in the way you expressed this love of yours. ~Robin

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